You'll do the whole young, angry deal for awhile. You'll either go the gutter-punk-amateur-homeless route and stumble around living off beer and Tastykakes, or you'll find some nonprofit protest group - a small cluster of people who always have the same five arguments at their endless meetings. Either way, you wind up in the exact same place: Sitting in a drum circle in Tompkins Square Park and suddenly noticing that you smell terrible.
So then you'll scramble back to some godawful suburban place, get a cluster of job skills, and assume the position. A couple promotions, some furniture made of real wood, a spouse, kids, mortgage, mortgage, and you become the guy who makes fun of the guy you used to be.
There's one teensy, tiny fact that ought to keep you from shooting yourself as you realize all this. It will get you out of bed in the morning and keep you warm at night deep into your middle age. It's the most exciting thing I know, and it still thrills me to my pinky toes now that I'm 41 (and I actually drive around in a goddamn minivan). Know this, and know it forever:
They really are lying to you.
Seriously. That moment you had when you were 14, and you discovered the entire culture and political system was some kind of monstrous, violent scam, and the inevitability of death made your whole life a joke. That was true, what you discovered back then. It's still true. You weren't being overly dramatic. Actually, it's worse. Your government and your church and the large corporations that have bought this country really are hiding terrible secrets from you. People in power are risking your life and safety and spending your money on stupid, unethical projects, and most of your neighbors are too brainwashed to accept it. It's not that they don't know, on some level. But most people reach a certain age, and they just sort of ignore the facts. They construct a world of meetings and ESPN and club luncheons and lawn care, and they pretend the big, dark cloud isn't out there, just past the manicured trees. And death, the darkest thing of all, gets closer and closer and they pretend they can't even see it. They're the ones pretending they live in the real world. Not you. You're just young and stupid.
But you don't have to pretend. No matter what happens to you, or how old you get, or what you have to do to survive in this world... you don't ever have to ignore what you know, right now. Scratch that A on the surface of your heart, and never forget how full of shit everyone is. The rage will keep you young.
Also, get some computer skills and keep away from face tats. We're done here.