Thursday, September 25, 2014

A Message From Jesus Christ On The Targeted Killings

You already kind of know what I'm going to say, don't you? Love your enemies, do unto others, all that stuff about the least of your brothers... I've gone on record about how you should treat each other. Sure, I didn't actually tell you, "Don't fire a mess of Tomahawks through someone's living room." I didn't think it would be necessary to spell it out. You Americans have a country absolutely packed to the ceiling with people who claim to follow me. But you are really, really comfortable with dropping high explosives on people.

Now we're going to talk about whether I was a pacifist, aren't we? I mean, what if you come across a bunch of bad guys who are going to do some harm to an innocent person? What if violence is the only way to prevent more violence? This is your way of dodging the question. Because you look reasonable if you make the choice between doing absolutely nothing in the face of evil... or airstrikes, home invasions, and encircling the world with a network of military bases. It's dishonest, and you know it. You guys say you're all about me, but you really act like the people who did that hilarious thing with those thorns. Enhanced interrogation, right? I sure know all about that. They were laughing while they did it. It was just like those news reports you don't think about. Like a prank gone too far. They were exactly the type to take selfies afterwards.

No, you always pretend this stuff is necessary. Always. You always excuse it. The pacifist thing is a way to make the job impossible. So that you can stop trying to be good. So that you can do all the terrible things you want to do. And you do want to do them. You're addicted to violence. Violence is your country's last and greatest export.

Let me clear something up: When I said that if you live by the sword you'll die by the sword, I wasn't giving a commandment from God. I was just giving advice. If you hit someone they'll hit you back. If you kill them so they can't hit back, their second cousin will pop out from around a corner tomorrow. Which means your brother has to burn that guy's house down, and this forces his tribe to slaughter your tribe. And so on. Until you live in a world where you have to spend every moment of every day doing hideous things to each other to stay safe, and it's never enough. And it won't be enough until the world runs out of people. That's how it works.

So many of you believe an Iron Age scroll is a solid science textbook, but you have trouble accepting that a first century Jew in occupied Palestine might know a thing or two about the nature of violence.

Forget I'm Me. Just consider the obvious. You've completed a 20-year cycle of escalating missile attacks, kidnappings, interventions, and turning your country into a giant prison. The result, they tell you, is that now the threat is even greater than before. And the solution? Let's do all the same things that worked so well the first time.

Stop being idiots. I really should have said it during the big speech on the mountain. But you probably wouldn't have listened to that either.

GOBLINBOOKS NOTE:
We talk about our dead as if they were part of Schrodinger's experiment. As if it had spiraled out of control, the box closed and the one inside appearing everywhere and always out of reach.
Keep the box closed forever, and she'll follow you down each street.
Keep the box closed forever, and she'll never be far away.

The Black Book Of Children's Bible Stories is a novel of supernatural horror. It is about Scripture and language and loss. It is a text whose words are all around you. SEE IT HERE.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Today My Novel Is Free On Amazon

We talk about our dead as if they were part of Schrodinger's experiment. As if it had spiraled out of control, the box closed and the one inside appearing everywhere and always out of reach.

Keep the box closed forever, and she'll follow you down each street.

Keep the box closed forever, and she'll never be far away.

The Black Book Of Children's Bible Stories is a novel of supernatural horror. It is about language and loss. It is a text whose words are all around you. SEE IT HERE.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

A Message To America From An Old Friend

Hey. I'm over here in the shadow of the tree. I wanted to talk where we wouldn't be bothered.

The streetlights are really far apart in your neighborhood, aren't they? Lot of dark spaces. Maybe you need floods in front of your garage - the kind with motion sensors, you know? I've been telling you to upgrade your alarm system for a while now. Burglaries across the city. You need security that looks better than your neighbors. They pass you by and hit the next guy. It only makes sense.

Dangerous world, huh? It's going to get worse too. You know it's going to get worse. Someday you're going to be able to live in one of those gated communities. Have a solid private security force. Be able to check anyone before they move next to you. But you don't have that kind of money now. That's not the country you live in now.

Have you thought about getting a gun? I know what you're wife said. She's right about the kids. She's smart. But she's also naive. So what if you don't tell her? How about that? You could hide it somewhere - the vent behind the dresser, maybe. They wouldn't find it, and you'd have it close in case of an emergency. You need to protect the family. They'll thank you.

And that cellar window. You need new locks. And you haven't gotten the unlisted number yet. A lot of bad people out there.

And that young guy who lives just past the corner. What's his name, with the car. He rents the house. He has people coming over at all hours. A couple of robberies have happened nearby. He's doing something wrong. Maybe it's drugs. Anyway, he doesn't belong here. You don't want him near your kids. You don't want him, or his friends, those friends of his, near your wife. So do something about it. There are plenty of things you could do.

It's your home, you know? All that stuff they taught you in school. All that pledge of allegiance nonsense... That doesn't matter in the real world. Not when we're talking about your safety.

Get that guy to leave. Make him.

When it comes to your safety, you just do whatever's necessary. That's the way it is. It's the way it's always been. You're not a bad person. This is still America, right?

I'm glad we had this talk. I look forward to our chats out here. I really understand you. You and all your friends, all your neighbors. Everyone in your town. I've been here for a long time. And whatever you do, I'll always be here for you. I mean it.

Now you go back home now. Kiss those kids of yours.

Kiss them for me.

NOTE:
Once there was a haunted house hidden so well you might be living in it still... Please read The Black Book Of Children's Bible Stories - a novel about families and loss, and the ghosts that follow you everywhere.

Friday, September 19, 2014

The Black Book Of Children's Bible Stories is now on Amazon


Once there was a woman, who saw a ghost, that lost a daughter, who lived in a house, that held a story, which revealed a secret, about a Book, which brought a darkness. Around a woman, who a saw ghost, that lost a daughter…

Read it here.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Want To Hear Me Read A Ghost Story?


Some of you will recognize this one. I'm going to be recording many of my dark stories and posting on Youtube and setting up podcasts for iTunes. Speaking of creepy...

The Black Book Of Children's Bible Stories is my upcoming novel of supernatural horror. If you want a free copy follow its Facebook page - I will be announcing promotional giveaways. "Once there was a haunted house hidden so well you might be living in it still."

UPDATE: Here's a link to a podcast of the reading.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Americans Totally Give In To Fear (A Video)

I uploaded a video of a reading. More to come.

 

The Black Book Of Children's Bible Stories is my upcoming novel of supernatural horror. If you want a free copy follow its Facebook page - I will be announcing promotional giveaways.

"Once there was a haunted house hidden so well you might be living in it still."

Thursday, September 11, 2014

As Americans, We Totally Give In To Fear

My fellow countrymen:

This morning your president lied to you. At a ceremony honoring the victims and survivors of 9/11 he repeated an insidious and harmful fable. I don't blame the man. Honestly. He's only repeating something people in the political and media class have been telling you for more than a decade. But I have to confront the lie. We have to face the truth.

Here's what the president said:

We carry on, because, as Americans, we do not give in to fear.

That's ridiculous. What contemptible nonsense. Who the hell told him to say that? And what country does he think he's talking about?

Americans almost always give in to fear. Giving in to fear is what we do first, before we've tried anything else. Even things that might actually work. You don't have a military bigger than the next dozen militaries in the world unless you're literally scared of everyone else on the planet. On September 11 we witnessed countless acts of heroism, of course. Don't misunderstand me. But the vast majority of people in this country collectively crapped our pants, abandoned our core values, allowed our government to shred the parts of the Constitution it didn't like, and stuffed everyone with an accent into a detention facility. Then we began a campaign of invading all the countries on our to-do list and launching night raids and rocket attacks from flying killer robots. Does any of this sound like refusing to give in to fear?

Getting jumpy and hysterical about threats is what we do as a people. In the past few years we've repeatedly given in to our fear of - and this list is not comprehensive at all - drugs, gay people, African Americans, Mexicans, Iranians, Russians, Chinese, North Koreans, atheists, socialists, the UN, FEMA, Muslims, Arabs, Sikhs, the war against Christmas, the knockout game, the feminist agenda, vaccinations, rainbow parties, and sexting. Unless you are a white man who has just shot a crowd of people in a school, we are ready to overreact to you.

We have a global surveillance program to collect the data on your phone, police forces that look like the bad guys in a GI Joe cartoon, and a foreign policy that involves killing civilians in numbers that dwarf the death toll of 9/11.

We're cowards, we've betrayed our principles, displayed a complete lack of concern for foreign lives, and we should be ashamed of ourselves.

Ah, but that's just it. What we refuse to do, is give in to shame. Or guilt. Or moral compunction. Or whatever you want to call the little voice in our heads telling us we're being jackasses, and that none of this will end well unless we get some control over ourselves and act like adults.

Neighbors and citizens: It's time, okay? It's past time. We've never done it before, but let's really consider the option of not giving in to fear, just this once, just to see what it feels like.

We have nothing left to lose. I mean that.

NOTE:

The Black Book Of Children's Bible Stories is my upcoming novel of supernatural horror. If you want a free copy follow its Facebook page - I will be announcing promotional giveaways.

"Once there was a haunted house hidden so well you might be living in it still."
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